Becoming - The Journey of God's Princess

This blog was created for women on the journey of becoming what God created them to be. It is meant to be an encouragement to those who visit. It is filled with the thoughts pondered by a Pastor's wife who is captivated by the love of God and rests daily in His infinate grace. It is filled with devotionals, short stories, poetry and other creative writing and thoughts about my journey to God.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Keep Moving, Anchored in Christ

I guess maybe clarification needs to be made of walking through the valley and staying in the valley. Each of us must make this walk through the valley and often times when we are truly surrendered to Abba we will walk through many valleys along this road. If our hope is anchored in Christ and we have committed His word to our hearts and we are holding to the promises of unseen things and our face is set on the end we will continue to move forward. Never allow the world to handle your sorrow or cause you to deny that you are in the valley because in doing so you will deny Christ the opportunity to ministers to you.

"Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted," Jesus said to the throng of humanity that sat on that mountainside in the afternoon sun. These were not random words flung out to make people feel good. This was God in the flesh - knowing the past, present and the future looking out over broken humanity and saying, "You will sorrow, your dreams will break, your world will shatter, your hope will falter, prayers won't always be answered your way - BUT you will be comforted, I will not leave you or forsake you, you will not be crushed or overcome, I will deliver you!"

He knew the world would shame people out of their sorrow convincing them some things "don't really hurt", or some sorrows are greater than others, or that there is an acceptable time to sorrow. He knew people would deny their sorrows hiding them in deep places in the heart. His invitation was to face it - I will comfort you.

Take a lesson from Jesus himself. Leading up to the Crucifixion he tried to prepare to his disciples. He tried to reach out in His humanity and share his heavy heart that had peace to impart. He even invited some to the Mount of Olives to pray with him to walk in the valley with him. Then there in that garden God in flesh wept openly and agonizingly. Sorrow and grief rolled over Him and He cried out to Abba. Jehovah, Immanuel, The Lamb poured out in His humanity cried out to Abba, "Father if there be another way let this cup pass from me!!" - let this sorrow end. "None the less YOUR will..." - surrender to the walk in the valley with hope secured in His father's will. And then the comforter was sent - and angel to minister to Jehovah. Notice what happened next. Jesus didn't get up with a smile on his face and go to the disciples and say, "OK I'm fine, I'm about to die an agonizing death, walk through a dark valley - darker than any valley known to man - so let's move on!" NO - scripture reveals that Jesus wept even harder with the comforter there - he came face to face with His heartbreak - he cried then so hard, so openly that blood poured from His brow. Then he stood and walked through the valley - not with giggles - not denying the pain - not denying His sorrow - BUT SURRENDER TO ABBA'S will - His faith anchored in God - His sight set on the Father's face - putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward.

When faced with the valleys of life (whatever they be) Keep moving anchored in Christ. Do not be deceived by the enemy. There is no shame is sorrow or disappointment or grief. The shame comes when we allow that instead of Christ to define us - when we allow that instead of Christ to become our focus (for when we do these things we have taken our sorrow as an idol and placed in before God). In recognizing it, facing it, owning it - we allow God to send comfort and strengthen us as we walk through our valleys - to move past all things in due time according to the seasons of God.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Thoughts of the day

I can not begin to know God's reasons or His ways, for they are beyond my understanding. I am continually left amazed at His handi-work and my unworthiness. It seems that the longer I follow this God who brought everything into existence, the more I pursue a relationship with Him the more I realize the brokenness of my estate and the need for a savior.

I am amazed that God chose His pain - and a most agonizing sacrifice of His beloved -so that I could be brought close. For in my most meager attempts of sacrifice I have found I fall sadly short. My offerings are mere shadows of what was so willingly lain upon the alter for me. In fact upon looking at what I have called sacrifice I am fully ashamed to say that I have chosen that which has often cost me very little or nothing and then very proudly (albeit, not spoken except in the farthest reaches of my heart) been proud of MY ability to do so well for the Lord when in fact I was using His resources. For all the talents and abilities I possess he formed within me before time began - as stated in Jeremiah 1:1 "I knew you before I formed you, before I placed you in your mother's womb". So who am I to take credit for what God Himself created within me - these talents or things are merely my duty to use for His glory.

This valley I am in - this loss that I have suffered - I pray constantly will bring me closer to Him who created me. I began last year with a prayer that God would change my life and my sight. I offered up to Him who created all things this life (that on it's own is useless and can accomplish nothing of lasting value) for His use. Little did I know that this prayer, prayed daily until November 2, 2011 would lead me on a journey that would turn my faith and my world upside down so that I might finally see right side up.

We began with the challenge of taking in two children - when the obviously easier answer would have been no. Brent was in seminary, I home school 4 children and these two children we knew had issues (much more serious than we knew at first). Yet we felt compelled that this was what God would have us to do. After they were removed from our home after their CPS court date to be placed in a different county (away from their parents who live only 2 blocks from us) I found out I was pregnant.
This too turned out to be a challenge. For when hope was seemingly lost we were forced to decide where our faith would stand. Daily a battle raged for my allegiance - would I surrender to desperation and despair or cling to the cross? Daily a reached for my savior, daily I begged for God's provision. Daily I saw His grace and the more the hope was extinguished by this world and the odds stacked up against us the more that grace became clear and new dreams and hopes arose. Then we lost our son - my world shattered - and the greatest grief, the most terrible ache, the deepest sorrow entered my world - and my world spun and tilted, tipped and rolled. There in the devastation of hopes, the brokenness of dreams, the desperation of heart my Savior reached out. Not promising relief, not offering sanctuary from this agonizing pain but whispering "Can you not stay one hour with me, I have not left you....I am able to deliver you". "Able to deliver", how strange these words sound - not delivered from this thing but able to be delivered into grace! Amazing how God changes our sight when we lean into him.

My prayer this year: still the same as last.
Here is my life Lord, take it, break it, bless it for your glory. Use it as you see fit. You chose your loss willingly so that it would be my gain. Teach me to lie down those things most precious without thought for your will. Help me not to cling to the things of this earth. Keep me humble. Keep me close. Keep my feet from temptation.

The Valley of the Shadows

The tragic beauty of the valley
Is in the songs that fill the air
The broken hallelujahs from
God's children walking there
In the midst of terrible pain,
and in the wake of shattered dreams
On the bank where tears have fallen
into flowing streams
There the children cling
to the hope they know is true
That God is a loving Father
who will carry them through
So up from broken hearts,
poured out of aching souls
Rises a redeeming chant
The Father already knows
He hears his children's cries
has counted every sorrow
Knows their very hearts
and has penned their tomorrows
And though the shadows press
and the enemy stands near
He offers them a shelter
from their devouring fear
He may not ease the suffering
or change the circumstance
But ministers to hearts and souls
causes aching feet to dance
He holds them in his arms
so gently whispers love
Reminds them of redemption
the perfect gift from above
He gently takes their hands
and guides them on the way
Down the path of sorrow
to a brighter day.

God to You

I knew you before I formed you
I chose your path before time
Do not fear these trials
remember you are still mine
You may not understand it all
as you walk along this path
but I have a certain end
and you will see at last
What you've counted as your sorrow
and unbearable pain
I have given for your benefit
to accomplish your ultimate gain
You are called daughter, friend,
precious and held dear
I will forever hold you close
and always be near.

For such is the Kingdom

For such is the kingdom of God
This precious little one
Who came into this world
and was so quickly gone
How comforting to know Christ
greeted you with love
When so silently you passed
from here to heaven above
Your life here was treasured
and it has left it's mark
On our very lives and
deep within our heart