Becoming - The Journey of God's Princess

This blog was created for women on the journey of becoming what God created them to be. It is meant to be an encouragement to those who visit. It is filled with the thoughts pondered by a Pastor's wife who is captivated by the love of God and rests daily in His infinate grace. It is filled with devotionals, short stories, poetry and other creative writing and thoughts about my journey to God.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Thoughts on Titus

Titus 2:1-15 Men and women of courage - where are you? The question is not "if I should" it is "How should I". When we have an experience with Christ and grow in the Lord we are to "teach what is good and so train the young women (and men)...." (v.3-4). Our churches whither and our families suffer when we neglect the upkeep of the garden that God has placed before us. The seeds do not sprout into plants if they are not watered, there roots do not go deep if we do not prepare the soil and remove the rocks, they will be over come by the weeds (world) if we do not come along and weed the garden (removing false doctrines, training them in righteousness, edifying and encouraging). (* Also see the Parable of the Seeds) We must be about the Father's work within the local body of believers preparing those God has entrusted us with, all the while working the fields of this world too. For how are those in the church to grow if the workers never help them? The Ethiopian Eunich asked the same "How am I, unless someone teach me?" So Men and Women of the Faith of God - where is your courage to take up the task that God has appointed - are you willing to invest and train this generation?

Sunday, July 17, 2011

The Author

Hebrew 12:2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith...

How often do we look at our life and think that things could be better if we did things differently. Often times not even consulting God on our decision - but rather doing what we consider the best option for us.

This verse speaks of the fact that Jesus is the author and finisher of our faith. He set out a redemptive plan that includes a new life in him. He is the one who has written our story before the beginning of time. Like any good author of this world Jesus has carefully written our stories, following us through hardship, heartbreak, joy, and forgiveness to the end of our story. Unfortunately along the way we often decide we do not like the story that is laid out before us. And not knowing the ultimate outcome we decide to re-write certain parts. Ripping the pen and paper from the master author's hand and handing it over to the world or the enemy to write out a part of our story. In this we shortcut the beauty of the story the master author has before hand laid out. We miss the designed story he has for us and ultimately miss some of the blessings that were set out for our lives. During this time the Author of Salvation stands at our side ready to take over our story when we decide to trust him with it again.

Think back on the last good novel you read. The earthly author lovingly unfolded a story that surrounded major characters. The author laid out the details and through the story the reader follows as the character goes through trials and hardships, triumphs and defeats and ultimately the ending is good - though granted sometimes sad. But in the end we see that the story laid out shines brightly and we at the end have a connection to those involved.

In much the same way our story is written out by The Author of Salvation - and he has made one for each of us that will ultimately shape us into an image of Him. We must therefor trust our story in the hands of the Author of Salvation even in the times that we do not fully understand our story. We must trust him in the times of heartbreak and trials that he is working out a greater purpose. We must give him the thanks for the times of joy when all works out. We must commit to leave the pen in the hands of the Author who has our best intent in His heart. The one who said that He knows the thoughts he thinks toward of us and they are of peace and an expected end.

My hope is that at the end, my story is one that is captivating because the Author of Salvation shines through on each page. May this also be your endeavor as you seek God's will - trust His authorship in your life and know that He is writing a beautiful story across the years of your life. Let Him shine on each page.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011


Fairy tales and princess things
shining armor and golden rings
My heart has set sail
On my own fairy tale
I'm a princess, daughter of the king
For whom the angels dance and sing
My knight in shining armor bright
Was none other than Jesus Christ
Clothed in white I now stand
On solid rock in shifting sand
A chosen treasure, loved, adored
Set aside for my Lord
My story has yet to unfold
But to this truth I shall hold:
I have a happy-ever-after
Filled with love and gently laughter
Because of blood that was shed
That redeemed me from the dead.

Friday, May 20, 2011

In times of Trouble

In the midst of tumultuous waters
as the ship is battered by waves
Still I cling to this hope and security
Jesus is faithful, Jesus saves
When the dark night presses in
as it overpowers the light
Still I cling to this promise of truth
Jesus has won this fight
When my faith is shaking and weak
When shattered, bruised and alone
I hold to the stronghold of life:
Jesus has called me His own
When the light breaks through
dispelling this night
I'll remember the ancient truth
that Jesus is light
When lifted, restored and set right
when this heart is repaired
I'll remember this: The Good Shepherd
My Jesus has cared
When waves cease to beat
on the battered ship that's broken
I'll remember those precious words:
"Be Still" that were spoken
On the mountains so high
or now in the valley of loss
I'll cling to my hope of salvation
and always remember the cross.

Monday, February 28, 2011

A Word to Mothers

Sacred and special
these gifts from above
Entrusted to us
with ultimate love
Have you considered
to what you've been called?
A mission impossible
if you don't lean on God.
He knew them before
time ever began
And has for each one
a very special plan
Our charge is to train them
in the way they should go
To live out each day
the truth that we know
With grace and love
and constant prayer
we handle these lives
with greatest of care.
So when the tides rise
and doubts prevail
Hold fast to the love
that never will fail
When the enemy whispers
your efforts are in vain
Be still and listen
as the father calls your name
In the midst of this season
we see only the task at hand
Our sight is so limited
to all that God has planned.

Father forgive them

Father Forgive Them
Father forgive them,
They know not what they do
They've turned their backs
on what is true
Father you gave them,
each one to me
So I give myself that
they may go free
Father, you knew them
before time began
And for each one you have
a special plan
Born into sin
captive in its snares
They are burdened and broken
with worries and cares
Father Forgive them
let me pay their price
This the atonement,
this the sacrifice
Father I'll carry it,
all their dark sin
And with my blood
will cleanse each of them
Father this cross,
this instrument of death & pain
Will serve as measure
of eternal gain
Lifted high for all
men to see
Here will I die to rise
on a rugged tree
Father love them
remind them of you
Stir in their hearts
what is true
Whisper their names
across time and space
Usher them in
through your matchless grace
Father forgive them
they've lost their way
All like sheep
have gone astray
Father I'll be the light
in the dark
The mender of the
bitterly broken heart
I will deliver them
out of their sin
And place them into
your loving hand
Father forgive them
see only me
In my death and rising
I bring them to thee

Sunday, February 13, 2011


Lego's and play dough and
beads with strings
Art pencils, markers
and other neat things
Books all lined in
neat little rows
Calenders and checklist
with all of our goals
Desks and pencils
and shelves, and books
notebooks, crayons
and little storage nooks
Chalkboards with chalk,
and whiteboards all hung
Now all that's left is
to get this thing done
So out goes the warning
school's about to get started
You'd think that I'd asked
That the Read Sea be parted
"Oh must we, I'm tired,
It can't really be time"
A wail and some tears,
a collective whine
Dragging and kicking like
slaves to the block
I pull and I plead
keeping eyes on the clock
Prayer and instruction
has finally begun
Given assignments to each
special little one
So why do I do this
when there's another way
Because at the end
I see blessings each day.

Salvation Calls

Still and quiet came the voice
In the dark of night
While I struggled in my heart
to do the things of right
I look around uncertain
this voice had called for me
A woman bound in chains
with eyes that yet could see
Again it came to sweet and clear
Across the still of night
"I am come to set you free
to give you new sight"
Could it be - this sweetest voice
was speaking just to me?
Had he look upon this life
ruined though it be?
Gentle words to filled with peace
I heard him speak my name
And like a breaking deep within
fell open my heart and shame
"Daughter, come and rest in me,"
with such gentleness he spoke.
And finally that last wall
crumbled down and broke.
I called out to him in agony
seeking out his face
And I was consumed by love,
washed by matchless grace
Still and quiet comes his voice
speaking just to me
In times trouble, he reminds me
I've been set free.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Keep Moving, Anchored in Christ

I guess maybe clarification needs to be made of walking through the valley and staying in the valley. Each of us must make this walk through the valley and often times when we are truly surrendered to Abba we will walk through many valleys along this road. If our hope is anchored in Christ and we have committed His word to our hearts and we are holding to the promises of unseen things and our face is set on the end we will continue to move forward. Never allow the world to handle your sorrow or cause you to deny that you are in the valley because in doing so you will deny Christ the opportunity to ministers to you.

"Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted," Jesus said to the throng of humanity that sat on that mountainside in the afternoon sun. These were not random words flung out to make people feel good. This was God in the flesh - knowing the past, present and the future looking out over broken humanity and saying, "You will sorrow, your dreams will break, your world will shatter, your hope will falter, prayers won't always be answered your way - BUT you will be comforted, I will not leave you or forsake you, you will not be crushed or overcome, I will deliver you!"

He knew the world would shame people out of their sorrow convincing them some things "don't really hurt", or some sorrows are greater than others, or that there is an acceptable time to sorrow. He knew people would deny their sorrows hiding them in deep places in the heart. His invitation was to face it - I will comfort you.

Take a lesson from Jesus himself. Leading up to the Crucifixion he tried to prepare to his disciples. He tried to reach out in His humanity and share his heavy heart that had peace to impart. He even invited some to the Mount of Olives to pray with him to walk in the valley with him. Then there in that garden God in flesh wept openly and agonizingly. Sorrow and grief rolled over Him and He cried out to Abba. Jehovah, Immanuel, The Lamb poured out in His humanity cried out to Abba, "Father if there be another way let this cup pass from me!!" - let this sorrow end. "None the less YOUR will..." - surrender to the walk in the valley with hope secured in His father's will. And then the comforter was sent - and angel to minister to Jehovah. Notice what happened next. Jesus didn't get up with a smile on his face and go to the disciples and say, "OK I'm fine, I'm about to die an agonizing death, walk through a dark valley - darker than any valley known to man - so let's move on!" NO - scripture reveals that Jesus wept even harder with the comforter there - he came face to face with His heartbreak - he cried then so hard, so openly that blood poured from His brow. Then he stood and walked through the valley - not with giggles - not denying the pain - not denying His sorrow - BUT SURRENDER TO ABBA'S will - His faith anchored in God - His sight set on the Father's face - putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward.

When faced with the valleys of life (whatever they be) Keep moving anchored in Christ. Do not be deceived by the enemy. There is no shame is sorrow or disappointment or grief. The shame comes when we allow that instead of Christ to define us - when we allow that instead of Christ to become our focus (for when we do these things we have taken our sorrow as an idol and placed in before God). In recognizing it, facing it, owning it - we allow God to send comfort and strengthen us as we walk through our valleys - to move past all things in due time according to the seasons of God.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Thoughts of the day

I can not begin to know God's reasons or His ways, for they are beyond my understanding. I am continually left amazed at His handi-work and my unworthiness. It seems that the longer I follow this God who brought everything into existence, the more I pursue a relationship with Him the more I realize the brokenness of my estate and the need for a savior.

I am amazed that God chose His pain - and a most agonizing sacrifice of His beloved -so that I could be brought close. For in my most meager attempts of sacrifice I have found I fall sadly short. My offerings are mere shadows of what was so willingly lain upon the alter for me. In fact upon looking at what I have called sacrifice I am fully ashamed to say that I have chosen that which has often cost me very little or nothing and then very proudly (albeit, not spoken except in the farthest reaches of my heart) been proud of MY ability to do so well for the Lord when in fact I was using His resources. For all the talents and abilities I possess he formed within me before time began - as stated in Jeremiah 1:1 "I knew you before I formed you, before I placed you in your mother's womb". So who am I to take credit for what God Himself created within me - these talents or things are merely my duty to use for His glory.

This valley I am in - this loss that I have suffered - I pray constantly will bring me closer to Him who created me. I began last year with a prayer that God would change my life and my sight. I offered up to Him who created all things this life (that on it's own is useless and can accomplish nothing of lasting value) for His use. Little did I know that this prayer, prayed daily until November 2, 2011 would lead me on a journey that would turn my faith and my world upside down so that I might finally see right side up.

We began with the challenge of taking in two children - when the obviously easier answer would have been no. Brent was in seminary, I home school 4 children and these two children we knew had issues (much more serious than we knew at first). Yet we felt compelled that this was what God would have us to do. After they were removed from our home after their CPS court date to be placed in a different county (away from their parents who live only 2 blocks from us) I found out I was pregnant.
This too turned out to be a challenge. For when hope was seemingly lost we were forced to decide where our faith would stand. Daily a battle raged for my allegiance - would I surrender to desperation and despair or cling to the cross? Daily a reached for my savior, daily I begged for God's provision. Daily I saw His grace and the more the hope was extinguished by this world and the odds stacked up against us the more that grace became clear and new dreams and hopes arose. Then we lost our son - my world shattered - and the greatest grief, the most terrible ache, the deepest sorrow entered my world - and my world spun and tilted, tipped and rolled. There in the devastation of hopes, the brokenness of dreams, the desperation of heart my Savior reached out. Not promising relief, not offering sanctuary from this agonizing pain but whispering "Can you not stay one hour with me, I have not left you....I am able to deliver you". "Able to deliver", how strange these words sound - not delivered from this thing but able to be delivered into grace! Amazing how God changes our sight when we lean into him.

My prayer this year: still the same as last.
Here is my life Lord, take it, break it, bless it for your glory. Use it as you see fit. You chose your loss willingly so that it would be my gain. Teach me to lie down those things most precious without thought for your will. Help me not to cling to the things of this earth. Keep me humble. Keep me close. Keep my feet from temptation.

The Valley of the Shadows

The tragic beauty of the valley
Is in the songs that fill the air
The broken hallelujahs from
God's children walking there
In the midst of terrible pain,
and in the wake of shattered dreams
On the bank where tears have fallen
into flowing streams
There the children cling
to the hope they know is true
That God is a loving Father
who will carry them through
So up from broken hearts,
poured out of aching souls
Rises a redeeming chant
The Father already knows
He hears his children's cries
has counted every sorrow
Knows their very hearts
and has penned their tomorrows
And though the shadows press
and the enemy stands near
He offers them a shelter
from their devouring fear
He may not ease the suffering
or change the circumstance
But ministers to hearts and souls
causes aching feet to dance
He holds them in his arms
so gently whispers love
Reminds them of redemption
the perfect gift from above
He gently takes their hands
and guides them on the way
Down the path of sorrow
to a brighter day.

God to You

I knew you before I formed you
I chose your path before time
Do not fear these trials
remember you are still mine
You may not understand it all
as you walk along this path
but I have a certain end
and you will see at last
What you've counted as your sorrow
and unbearable pain
I have given for your benefit
to accomplish your ultimate gain
You are called daughter, friend,
precious and held dear
I will forever hold you close
and always be near.

For such is the Kingdom

For such is the kingdom of God
This precious little one
Who came into this world
and was so quickly gone
How comforting to know Christ
greeted you with love
When so silently you passed
from here to heaven above
Your life here was treasured
and it has left it's mark
On our very lives and
deep within our heart